Contents and Container
State of the Container of the Witch:
The diet continues very well. Can you believe I haven’t had a drink in nearly two weeks? The numbers on the scale continue to edge downward, and I’ve re-introduced a whole tier of favorite clothing back into the rotation. Yay! And it’s still been really, stupidly easy. Which only proves the theory I heard long ago: you can’t do this kind of thing until you’re ready. All last year as I was gaining weight, I’d be thinking, Oh, jeez, I have to stop this, I have to do something, I need to eat less, etc etc. But I wasn’t ready, so it was impossible. Now I was ready–finally, really emotionally ready–and it’s easy.
So I am going to reward myself and ease into phase 2 a couple of days early. There will be a drinking buddy around this weekend, and I’d hate to miss that opportunity. 
I’m going to be a terrible lightweight, though, so I have to be careful. And I’m not going to suddenly flood my diet with a whole bunch of carbs. My plan is to do three or four days of a sort of hybrid phase 1/phase 2, starting tomorrow (add a little fruit, some wine, maybe a cracker or two), and see how it goes. Then by mid-next week, go more fully into phase 2 if I’m happy with the results.
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State of the Contents of the Witch:
Results hazy, try again later.
No, seriously. Lots of good stuff going on; lots of tough stuff going on. I am feeling helplessly remote from Jay as he struggles with chemo and its attendant frustrations and limitations. I am reading his treatment of Our Lady of the Islands and loving it. I am contemplating what my next big writing project(s) should be. I am contemplating big external changes in my life and big structural internal changes–future, ongoing, recent past. Vague, I know, but isn’t that the way life is sometimes?
Dad Time
I had a really, really nice visit with my dad.
I’m so glad we both took steps to make that happen–him especially, as he did more. I got up there late afternoon, he showed me around his business and all the cool new equipment they’ve gotten since the last time I was there, and introduced me to a bunch of his staff. Then we went and watched the State of the Union speech (the first TV I’ve seen in like a year); then out to dinner, where we started talking.
The first part of the conversation was more general catching-up, which was quite good. But then after dinner, we stayed up late and got into bigger stuff. Our whole history, from my parents being so young when they had me (21), up through our time on the Land, and then their divorce, and the advent of step-parents, etc. And on through my adulthood and he and Stepmom having my half-brother, and my marriage to my ex, all that. And through it all, our communication with each other, both bad and good–and our different perspectives on it.
He told me things I hadn’t known were true, but hearing them, I knew they were. And I know he’s hearing me too: my feelings of missed connections, of his scarcity in my life.
We’re both going to do better. We’ve got a plan. We’re understanding each other.
I’m so very happy about this. Thank you, Dad.
On the Road Again
I’m leaving in a few minutes, heading to Points Partway North for an overnight visit with my dad. Which I am very much looking forward to.
Orchids are in the sink and need to be put away; a small bit of packing has to happen; otherwise, I am ready.
I’m taking the computer, but I don’t anticipate much more (if any) internettery on the day…so, be good, everyone, and I’ll be back tomorrow!
It Was A Busy Day
Jay wasn’t the only one who got a novel to first readers today.
I did the same with Demonhead.
Yay!
It’s particularly exciting, because, well, Our Lady of the Islands is my novel too–so I sort of finished *two* novels today. I’m reading his treatment of Our Lady right now, and loving it–I can see my words melded with his words, and they work together nicely. If I do say so myself. This book rocks.
Hmm, which icon shall I use–the demon or the lady? I think the demon. Because, well, I *did* finish Demonhead today. That’s noteworthy.
Art!
Cover art!
My story “The Hippie Monster of Eel River” will be in this fine-looking anthology. Thanks to Jennifer for letting me copy (and for buying the story in the first place!).
Dept. of Small Things (Which Are Huge) (Because They Are Smaller)
I am wearing pants from the next tier down, in my vast constellation-o-sizes. As in, one step down from Utmost Hugest Evar, where I have been stuck for months.
And they feel and look good.
So I Return
Back to San Francisco today. No travel stories, I am pleased to report. I even got rockstar parking at home.
Spent much of the afternoon on re-entry–unpacking, grocery-ing, fiddling around here. But I also finally!!! wrote that scene in Demonhead that I’ve been poking at all weekend, or, well, since Thursday maybe. Got it! Now there’s one more short scene to write, and I’m done!
Not much else to report. Nobody cooked me a lovely gourmet dinner 
, but I did make myself a rather nice coleslaw, with red cabbage and fancy mayonnaise and green onions and pickled jalapenos and walnuts. Le yum. But even though I ate a lot of that, and nibbled on lots of protein items (nuts, turkey, cheese), I still feel kinda hungry. Hmm. Maybe one more pass through the kitchen before bed…
Unpluggery
Overconfident, perhaps, from our success and ease in unplugging the chemo pump two weeks ago, Shelly Rae and I set about de-needling Jay this afternoon at 2:00.
By 2:45, we had learned a few things:
-Where the line actually unscrews from, as opposed to where it looks like it unscrews from
-To hold tight to that line, so that when it does ultimately come loose, it doesn’t flail about and spray stray drops of chemo-poison everywhere
-To keep all the supplies together, including the little red caps for the unplugged line (see above)
-To have extra little wipes available, more than you think you need, in case of miscues (see above)
Something that didn’t go wrong, but that we have noted for the future:
-Inventory the supplies of little red caps, sani-wipes, etc
Things that went right, that we were actually clever about:
-Getting the right sized gloves for our dainty little hands
-Asking the nurse about the unsticking problem, and getting a good supply of Special Unsticking Magic Stuff (in fun little crushable glass tubes!)
-Laying everything out right at hand before we get started, including the medical waste disposal box
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Then we went for a walk in the rain. Things we learned on our walk:
-It’s not smart to completely soak shoes you’re then planning to pack in a suitcase
-People seem to drive even faster in the rain, in Oregon (perhaps they want to splash the stupid pedestrians, to encourage them to get inside where it’s warm and dry?)
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Then Shelly cooked delicious steelhead, and served it over bitter greens with a side of green beans and mushrooms. All incredibly delicious, perfectly cooked.
Something I learned at dinner:
-Mealtimes are going to be very sad for me, starting tomorrow.
