So I’m a few days now back at home after traveling for most of last month. This morning, Mark went home to Seattle. I’m sad to see him go, but it’s also nice to get back into my routine, get things done here. I actually spent some time in the garden today! It was VERY cold outside, but I bundled up and had a great time pruning things. Great, giant swathes of dead things. I filled my yard waste bin and then made another pile at least as large for next week.
Anyway. Last month…it was full of great stuff, and it was really hard. Traveling is tough on me: I love being at home. My routine and discipline and everything goes completely out the window when I travel. (I swam exactly three times, and did maybe an hour and a half of yoga total over the whole trip–and that includes an hour class I took at my dad’s health club.) (And I didn’t do much better as far as work went–I managed one relatively small freelance job, and picked up another.) (No writing.)
All the reasons we spent so much time in California were very real and valid and good: a good friend’s milestone birthday. My brother’s girlfriend’s PhD celebration. Seeing so many dear friends; being there for my dad’s birthday; and of course Christmas and meeting Finnish relatives. Spending some not-so-rushed time with our families. A few business meetings tucked here and there.
As an introvert, however–well, the days felt packed, even the slower ones. And the not-slow ones were REALLY packed: two or sometimes three different events in a single day, driving sometimes hours between them, being “on” and social and present nearly constantly. We were houseguests most of the month, only springing for hotels a few times. (Even so, it was a VERY expensive month–gas, meals out, gifts, those few hotels.) And this came on the heels of two additional trips to California the previous month; early in November for my dad’s surgery, then Thanksgiving.
I knew this would be hard. Mark knew this would be hard. (He’s not so much of an introvert as I am, but he got tired too.) And I actually think I managed pretty well, considering it all. I was able to take some time when I needed it, every now and then; to withdraw and read, or fiddle around on the internet a little. I didn’t blog nearly as much as I wanted to, and my correspondence became just dreadful (I used to be so good at answering emails promptly…), but I held it together, I think. Being able to swim and do yoga at Dad’s club, even just those couple of times, was HUGE.
And actually, knowing it would be hard: I think this is the biggest thing. It used to be, in my previous life (in my marriage), I didn’t understand this whole “introvert” thing. I knew I got tired and cranky if we traveled and had to “go” all the time. I knew I wanted to just lie by the pool with a book, but my husband always wanted to go see wherever it was we were, and meet people, and all that; and I thought this meant there was something wrong with me, that I was lazy and unimaginative and frightened and whatever. I didn’t understand any of this stuff about recharging, and how being social–even seeing people you love and truly enjoy–is draining, and you need down time to recover from it, if you’re this way. I just thought I was broken and wrong, and so I would push myself (because who spends the money and time to travel halfway around the world to lie by a pool?) and make the best of it.
It’s so NICE to know I’m not broken and wrong. Just someone who needs down time, so she can enjoy people and new experiences and all that.
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Is there anything I would do differently? I’m not sure. I really, really hope that life doesn’t align itself in such a way as to create another month-long trip for me. I’ve had thoughts of I should learn to say no better, and things like that; but truly, I’m not sure what I would have left out, of all those important things that happened last month. (Or the month before.) I feel lucky that, without a day job, we were able to be there for all those things. So, I guess I would only ask the universe to spread things out better. 🙂 And wow, I’m staying home for a few months now. (Except for occasional trips to Seattle, of course. And Mark’s mom is turning 80 in February….)
Well, I’m glad to be home now. That is one thing I know for sure.